Dan is the only player at the club with a private sponsor, he has a 3 year deal with Elizabeth Duke. Considering the weight of 30 gold chains and 10 sovereigns, Dan is extremely quick. He also has excellent close control which has enabled him to skin most opposing left backs this season. Additional to being Kev Thomas main supply chain, Dan also weighs in with his fair share of strikes. He is currently second in the Top Goal Scorer chart behind Mr Thomas.

Lowie is without a doubt the buffest bloke at the club!! The changing room has some fairly unsightly bodies but Lowie is an exeption to the rule. Lowie always dresses to perfection and looks the part without actually appearing to be a poser (hence the nickname catalogue kid).

Lowie has a good turn of pace and a savage tackle although at times his workrate has been questioned. One of the group of talented young drinkers we have at the club, Lowie has been impressing recently with his Blackthorn consumption. Hopes are high for Dan to turn it on next season and make sure his place in the team is a starting one.

Deano is a great bloke and a good all round sportsman. 1 st team captain of Coalpit Heath CC and a keen snooker player he also thoroughly enjoys beating his dad at various playstation games. Dean is currently taking exams to become a commercial airline pilot so he could well be taking you on your holidays sometime soon. If you see a ginger captain when you head for the departure lounge then pray you make it!!

Bruce Willis, Ian Hislop

Graham is the fittest member of the team by a country mile. Although he is a senior member of the side his energy is unrivaled, even when he’s up against the likes of Wayne Thomas.

Graham has become Mr Utility this season with successful spells in the centre of defence and at his preferred position of right back.

The one problem we do have with Graham is the amount of time he takes after the match, without doubt he is the longest in the shower!

Obi from Hollyoaks

Wickwar’s record signing this season, Mike was brought in from fierce rivals Hawkesbury Upton just after Christmas.

Although one of the ‘fledglings’ Mike is not known for his young mans fitness, in fact we’re convinced Mike is either a heavy pipe smoker or has a secret drink problem. Either way what he lacks in stamina is more than made up with tough tackling and the ability to pull nice girls with fantastic breasts.

Mike is off to University next year and therefore will not be playing regularly for the Wanderers, good luck to him and happy drinking!

Warwick Davis from the film Willow

Wickwar Reserves answer to Verne Troyer, Nick has been solid as a rock and surprisingly good in the air since his return to the fold in February.

At home at right back and just as comfortable in goal, apart from any shots over 4ft, Nick is a real asset to the side.

Peter Ebdon, Michael Stripe (REM)

Specializing in quick, accurate distribution with goalscoring flair, James has added shine to many Wickwar sides since the mid eighties.

In one season James topped the scoring charts with 30 goals from the centre of the park, quite a return for a person well into his forties.

'Rossi' took a break from football last year to concentrate on his second hobby, sleeping, but is due to make a welcomed return to the fold for the forthcoming 06/07 season. He will undoubtedly pick up where he left off as Wickwar's answer to David Rocastle.

Smyth is the butt of many jokes around the Wickwar changing room due to the fact that he bites every time although he is definitely starting to get better. A lad of substance, he still has an impressive turn of pace and a keen eye for goal when fit enough to play. James has an amazing ability to find the most female looking football boots in any sports shop and will always gladly hand over large sums of cash to get them.

James is a frequent sufferer of injury and to this day is the only player I have ever seen taken off the pitch by an Ambulance and then walk into the social club with a slight limp later in the evening, damn the NHS are good!!

Les has been one of our top supporters this season with a string of outstanding sideline performances. He sees every opportunity and kicks every ball wishing that he was on the field or at least that his boy (Nick) was good enough to finish the opportunities he sees. Les has quickly become a legend within the wickwar reserves and the way he grab the linesmans flag when asked with a look of hate in his eyes is something to be admired!!!

Since the retirement of legend Pip Carter in the late 90’s, Wickwar have desperately required a ‘proper’ striker. Every pre season we hoped and prayed that person would turn up to experience our amazing facilities and sign for the duration, but it never happened. Not until our head scout, Derek Newman, on one of his many scouting trips to a neighboring pub, stumbled across the Thomas bros.

Kevin is Thomas brother number 2 and has finally filled the void left by Pip Carter. Kev’ is quick, skillful and an excellent finisher and in his short time at the club already has 16 goals.

Roll on next season!!

Alan is the best keeper we have had for years and would be even better if he could stay on the pitch for 90 minutes. We have recently put Alan into anger management therapy in the hope that he can stop arguing and slapping opposition centre forwards.

Alan was in semi retirement when the lucrative contract offered to him and his brothers was too much to resist. Since then he has got used to the Wickwar style and settled and produced some great saves.

The ‘fourth’ Thomas brother is without doubt Wickwar’s star player.

Kelvin has built his game on old video’s of Carlton Palmer and more recently the silky skills of Ronaldinho. This has given Kelvin a ‘box to box’ mentality with the flair and grace to glide past his opposition.

He is a dead ball specialist with an eye for goal.

Kelvin is currently out of contract and is attracting scouts from a host of local and premiership clubs, the most notable being Gloucestershire giants Rangeworthy.

Probably at his best in the centre of the park but can also operate well at the back, Kelvin has been superb for us since he joined. Kelvin’s hobbies include drinking and not getting his hair cut.

What can be said about the man, the legend, Phil Bleaken. Well lets start with football. Phil is a tough tackling defender who despite not being particularly tall hardly ever seems to be beaten in the air. He is still to this day, the only man I have seen do a sliding tackle during training or smoke as many cigarettes during the half time breather. Phil has a no fear attitude to football and is a great guy to have at your side in some of the more physical games. Phil has also been witnessed doing diving headers at a rugby ball during a pre match warm up!!?

Phil is a keen golfer and can regularly be found wandering around Stinchcombe GC with John Wintle and Vaughan (hurricane) Hopkins. His other sports tend to revolve around his biggest hobby of drinking. Once, during a holiday in Corfu, both the first team and reserve team managers spotted phil actually drink lighter fluid!! (this was an accident due to previous Sambuca consumption – please do not try this at home). An hour or so later he was nowhere to be seen until a pair of trainers were spotted poking out of a hedge and hey presto – they were attached to Phil!!

We are looking forward to having Phil back from retirement and in the reserve team for the coming season!!

Arthur is one of the quieter members of the squad although I have heard from his friends that he is not quiet in all walks of life. Arthur had an unfortunate start to last season when an awkward fall broke his arm and put him out of action for several weeks. Once back to full fitness Arthur impressed with his strong running and eye for goal. We are looking to Arthur to improve on his vocals for next season and maybe add a bit of weight to his game.

Michael has joined us this season and his early performances have impressed.  Michael is one of the more senior members of the squad at 67 years old although he claims that the cocoa butter he rubs on his body after a game keeps him young.  At his best marauding down the left hand side of midfield he is also a useful man to have tucking into the middle of the park.
Following a long career with a variety of Bristol based clubs Michael has decided to spend his twig light years in the serenity of the Stroud League.

Mike has come out of retirement this season to resurrect his footballing career in the Wickwar reserve team.  With his intelligent running and imposing physique Mike is sure to bag a few goals this season.

Mike is well known throughout the village for being the biggest football geek the world has ever seen.  If a player has made a substitute appearance for Leyton Orient in a pre season friendly 10 years ago, Mike will know who they are, where they now play and what their favourite colour it!!  Mike maybe a geek but he also has an impressive turn of tongue when it comes to the gags and is definitely a welcome addition to the Wickwar changing room this season.